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Cheezburger Company Blog
General Mayhem, or specific mayhem?
electric mayhem
you sir, have greatest win so far.
electric varieties of mayhem given instant evaluation as awesome
Thank You All For Liking My First Engrish!
Some times a posting on this site lets you find your muse. This one had my muse using a whip on me.
True mayhem is when the experts , promising a quick fix, come in and leave declaring it is worse than anything they have ever seen or can describe and the support mechanism around them can’t adapt. When everyone is running and screaming, someone running the other way and solving the problem is a hero.
Thanks for finding this. I had too much fun.
I also loved the ambiguity of the sign. It like the Office of Animal Abuse; They don’t declare up front if they are for it, against it, or just licensing it.
This is your First?!?
zipKill, you is a natural. Some of us very much appreciate talent when we see it. And you has a talent.
I have given this mayhem a full evaluation and have downgraded it to brouhaha.
brouhaha may still be an exxageration, i’d prefer “hubbub”
General Mayhem – he’s OC for the base where Major Disaster and Private Problems are stationed.
CO?
Office of Toxic Gases is on the next floor.
The Registrar of Silliness is in room NO2.
I’m afraid you’re directing folks to the wrong room! That Registrar would be in Room N2O.
You’re both right.
They’re both laughing gas.
Though the department of racing is in NO2.
OC – officer commanding. True dinks. Or maybe we just get it round that way sometimes because we’re in the southern hemisphere.
I wonder which way round they put it in the mayhemisphere?
They don’t bother with rank there, they just give everyone a big stick and leave them to sort it out.
Mayhem is fear. That is pro found.
In Commonwealth militaries, I believe General Mayhem would be the CO and Major Disaster would be a OC. There was a time in my life when these things mattered; there were push-ups and toilet scrubbing if you got them mixed up.
(If the links below don’t work, just Google “Commanding_officer” and “Officer_Commanding”.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Officer_Commanding
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commanding_officer
*PANIC PANIC* All women and children first! HELP! HEEEELP!
…
Thank god we now have an office for this sort of thing.
Try imagining what you did to be sent in there.
Mayhem gets sent to you.
Everywhere, not just in Soviet Russia.
Hmm.. 414 ….. Could that be the number of the beats?
668 is the number of the beast’s next door neighbour.
666i is the number of the beast’s BMW.
Can’t help you with 414 though.
No, 666i is the beast’s imaginary friend.
Well, I know there were a lot more Beats back in the 50s, but I suppose there are still a few around today.
Why would Sunnydale High School need to signpost the library in English and Chinese?
Giles was testing out Buffy’s Mandarin.
This must be an offshoot of fight club!
The first rule of Fight Club is “do not talk about Fight Club”!
And if you did, you ended up as a statistic in this office.
way too funny.
There’s nothing funny about this. They spelt it correctly and they translated it correctly.
And you would need an “Office of Mayhem Evaluation” exactly why?
Do you want the Undersecretary of Human Discord, or the Undersecretary of Cosmic Disruption? The Consulate of the Spanish Inquisition is out for the rest of the week. They will return on Monday.
Just one of the Undersecretaries will do, in fact if I can just talk to the Workplace Bedlam Co-ordinator she can probably sort it out for me. I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Can you please… BRING ME… A SHRUBBERY! GO INTO THE FOREST, AND CHOP IT DOWN WITH A TROUT!
Wrong door. That is the Bedlam Mental Hospital Workplace Coordinator. If you can’t prove you’re one of them, they’ll make you one of us.
Sites with under-performing mayhem can request mayhem evaluators and technicians to improve mayhem production and quality. The Office of Mayhem Evaluation has trained professionals here to assist you with your mayhem needs.
ROFL…you win!
Epicly. EPIC WIN!
*sigh* How many times must we say that something translated literally correctly and with proper grammar and spelling may still be funny for a large number of reasons??? I’ve said it at least twice, and I know of at least three other people who have made the same point one or more times.
Again, boys and girls, two words: …..oh, fuggedabbout.
it.
I see the lolectomy was a complete success, then.
You can’t ectomy what wasn’t there in the first place!
The chart asked for a lolotomy. We were just supposed to look around and find what was wrong.
If it didn’t need to be removed, was this a case of congenital anlolity?
We did a lolcat scan and lolotomy, but we didn’t look at the genitals.
If you had, it might have ROFLed a few feathers!
That’s one of the hazards of getting sent to prison, becoming overly acquainted with con genitals.
The G.W.Bush administration had been considering this as an alternative title for the Federal Emergency Management Agency, in order to promote honesty in government.
You’re doing one heck of a job Brownie!
“It’s totally wiped out. … It’s devastating, it’s got to be doubly devastating on the ground.” –George W. Bush, turning to his aides while surveying Hurricane Katrina flood damage from Air Force One , Aug. 31, 2005
I’m sorry. This is the office of legal mayhem. Yes, there is chaos but not serious and deliberate injury. You want the office of riot and disruption. It is two floors up and at the end of the hall, across from the Consulate of the Spanish Inquisition. They no longer accept complaints from the web. Be sure all witness’s signatures are notarized.
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…. Our *four*…no… *Amongst* our weapons…. Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise…. I’ll come in again.
Excellent! You get the comfy chair! And Cardinal Ximenez, sorry to say.
AH please, not the cumfy chair!!!
Wife: I don’t like mayham!
Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your mayham. I love it. I’m having mayham mayham mayham mayham mayham mayham mayham beaked beans mayham mayham mayham and mayham!
Vikings: mayham mayham mayham mayham. Lovely mayham! Wonderful mayham!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her mayham instead of the baked beans then?
The Mayhem Evaluation Team is hear to serve you. Please fill in the forms and use the checklist to complete your transaction on your first visit. Get all signatures notarized. Please be ready to pay with cash. Checks and credit card payments have a service fee surcharge. Take a number and we will get to you directly.
Oh damn, it’s the Vogons isn’t it? Love their forms with checkboxes and signatures, they do…oh, and bribes, er, “service fee surcharges”.
Our scheduled meetings and office availability is publicly posted in the locked filing cabinet in the janitors closet under the stairs in the Sirius system.
If that requires passing through a Sirius Cybernetics-designed doorway leave me out of it. There’s probably a Ravenous Bug Blatter Beast hiding there anyway.
Transportation can be arranged for those needing assistance.
Precisely what I’m afraid of…especially a happy-vertical-people-transporter-thingy!
You’ll be fine- just wrap your towel around your head.
A Ravenous Bug Blatter Beast? But the sign on the door says “Beware of the leopard”?
that’s just a decoy
Mostly Harmless
Don’t panic!
I’d like a sign like that for my office door. ^_^
Looks like a Photoshop job to me.
OK, I think you’ve all had your fun… So what the hell’s the Chinese(?) *supposed* to say?
Dunno, but your avatar is too much, fpelayo.
Hey, I applied for a job at this place!
Got rejected. Turns out I was overqualified.
Too good at evaluations, or too good at mayhem?
Yes.
No.
And what’s behind door #3? I know! Mayhem!
I know you are all thinking that it’s behind door # 414. But that’s just where it goes to get evaluated. Door #3 is where it lives.
This is the office they always show after a Godzilla attack.
Ah, so *that’s* what that photographer was doing lurking around outside my office door yesterday…
Sounds like Tyler Durden has invaded our schools… YEAH!
The correct English text should be “Office of Disabilities Evaluation”. I have no idea why “伤残” (“Disabilities”) got translated into “Mayhem”.
Given my experiences with the Disability Determination Section of the Social Security Administration in this country, I’d think this a very proper name for that office in the US!
Domo Oragato (Look, I’ve used most of my Japanese, and it still makes my Chinese [any version] look good)!
I guess they used Google Translate for the translations.
WIN
Mayhem Rules:
In order to conduct a legal riot and an orderly chaos, the administration has laid down the following rules effective today:
1. A clear written statement from the riot representitive indicating reason for riot
2. the representitive must fill the mayhem application form
3. a fee of $100 per riot head count must be paid
4. any person exceeding the riot count must pay a penalty of $50 / hr of rioting
5. all applications are subject to scrutiny and minute evaluation
6. riot acceptance will be given within 1 (one) working year.
Thank you and have a nice riot
Please observe proper safety when rioting and burning tyres.
Hey, don’t forget the Risk Assessment, or your application will never make it past the first desk.
I’m afraid that’s out of our jurisdiction, there’s another office for that just down the hall..it’s called Dangerous Ass’s.
I prefer to do the frisk assessment first! Get an initial impression of the lay of the land and the available armamentaria.
I only do frisk assessments on female applicants!
Put on your rubber gloves before frisking any applicant who looks like she may be the lay of the land!
Please check and see if your plans fit into the scope available with the new short forms. Form EZ allows marching and boisterous protest. Form A allows civil disobedience that does not include personal injury or property damage. The automatic scheduler notifies the paper and TV stations. Please check the boxes if the city needs to provide tear gas, water cannons, mounted patrol, police dogs, or extended overtime coverage. A valid credit card is required for a deposit.
But don’t use American Express for the credit card deposit, it’s not taken anywhere in the Galaxy. Or a disembodied arm might have to deal severely with you, which often offends.
I thought smoking mayhem was illegal there
The riot squad’s batons were just poking.
The silly signs and costumes were just joking.
The riot squad’s ace man
Started a fire launching Mace cans.
It’ not good mayhem ’till it’s smoking.
I get it! It’s a tailor’s shop! You go in and they evaluate whether your pants may need to be hemmed.
May hem and haw to avoid all the K OSS
That’s not Engrish, its Chinglish!
Dr. Tyler Durden
Maybem Theorist and Practitioner
Scope of life expansion through practical applications of chaos, disruptions, and discomfort. Schedule your downtown fireworks displays for the July 4th holiday while prime selections are available.
Mayhem is a Black Metal band from Norway.
clearly photoshopped
The first rule of Project Mayhem is you do not ask questions…