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Made in China
Adopt the deluxe leather material
Deluxe neutral paper
Design the novel work of thin make
Record life the feeling years with think
Submitted by: pips, Via Engrish Funny Submissions
Label of a notebook bought at the dollar store.
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I can’t think to record my feeling years. I’ve adopted too much the deluxe whiskey material.
*bow*
Too much of the whiskey material, deluxe or otherwise, and you won’t have many feelings or years to record!
neutral paper – it will not judge my thoughts of feeling years
Oooooooor, it’s neutral; it will never allow you to convey emotional affect no matter how hard you try. It will always be a very flat, uninspired read.
Ah, but it is DELUXE neutral. So you won’t feel anything but you’ll be very inspired nonetheless. Kind of like a really good sermon at a determinedly nondenominational church.
Church of the Wholly Undecided.
With prayers addressed To Whom It May Concern.
Sometimes, it would be great to offer a translation of what they meant to say…
I suspect this is press on the outside of a blank journal..? The materials discuss it’s construction, and the “feeling years” are probably memoir material.. Just my $0.02.
GRAMMAR FAIL! “Its..” I suck!
“The materials discuss it is construction.” Sounds like perfect Engrish to me! It is construction, or it gets the materials again…
It records life the feeling years on the neutral paper.
But then the neutral years have to go on feeling paper. I wonder how long they have to go on feeling paper before they lose their neutrality.
Neutral paper = acid-free, likely
Blotting paper without LSD, then.
We should make all carpets out of neutral paper, then, because we could be sure we wouldn’t trip on them!
Nicely done, sir! I had to read that 3 times before it made sense! LOL!
Doesn’t compare with your feat of mental gymnastics down there with “Mrs. Hyde.” I threw you a real curve ball and you knocked it clean out of the park! I literally sat there for a while in stunned but widely grinning silence. So the gassho (bow) was genuine. You are a Master!
I accept the kudos gracefully and gratefully. As long as we can compliment and complement each other here, it’s all good.
My fellow apprentice cometh, master jedi. pleased looks, he hath.
If we knew what they meant to say, I wouldn’t be laughing my @ss meat off!
maybe life in china is to reincarnate everyting starting with life!
Where do you go to reincarnate the plastic bottles?
I have read this over and over and I still don’t have the slightest idea what you are saying!
Design the novel work of thin make: Create a cookbook and exercise regimen around the fictitious concept of eating properly, exercising, and losing weight.
I read that as an injunction to write a cheap paperback romance, but we could always include a character who (unlike anyone in real life) actually does those things and flosses daily, too! And maybe is a vampire who discovers the Holy Grail…
And sparkles, probably…
Maybe you could start writing short stories of 1000 Tails From The Chickpoint, and submit them to Mills and Boon. Or Mills and Bomb.
HEY! I do most of those things – except the vampire stuff, and that’s only because I don’t like the taste of blood. I always suspected I wasn’t real.
If you’re not real, then who is suspicious?
Diet book? Of course not! No pudding, no life!
Record life the feeling years with think: Record your thoughts after years of personal review have corrected the events. Never let the facts interfere with a good story.
This is, actually, a fairly good summation of actual psychological research on the subject of semantic memory. And the funny thing is that I’m being utterly serious!
Adopt the deluxe leather material: The naugas harvested to make the Naugahyde cover has created abandoned naugas in the Adopt a Nauga Shelter. Please adopt, send money, and volunteer time. Be responsible; Neuter your Naugas.
Of course, neutering your Naugas is the only way to get deluxe neutral paper! Of course, they’re not always easy to adopt, being as they hyde so well.
You can easily find hyding Naugas if you listen for their characteistic jekyll.
Ah, but what if Dr. Jekyll Mrs. Hyde?
Since the bad side of Dr Jekyll was Mr Hyde, Mrs Hyde would be his better half.
*deep bow*
Remember, a nauga is for life, not just for Christmas.
*Sigh* As I mentioned previously, I have no life. So not only don’t I have pudding, but I clearly am lacking in nauga. Woe is me!!!
We need to save “boiling you in your pudding” references for needed Christmas fodder.
There are many abandoned naugas looking for good homes; I’m sure that you would be able to adopt one into your household with a minimum of fuss (just don’t let them strop on the furniture).
Could I record life the think years instead, if I did it with feeling?
I have a feeling the record life years think would be wholly fictitious.
Are you sure that’s a feeling, or is it a thought?
No, I think I lost my thought when it thunk. I think thoughts make a thunk when they think and hit bottom.
I used to drink thoughts, and they sure made a drunk when I hit bottom.
So always remember, you may be thunker than you drink!
Do you suppose most of the entries were made by people who have read “Engrishfunny Manual of Style and Editing” by Rev. Spooner ?
I will admit that much of my humor owes a debt to the famous (or infamous) Reverend. I love spoonerisms, especially when unintentional. I think one of the funniest moments in broadcasting history was the announcer who attributed some information to a “high White Horse souse.” It was made funnier by the fact that White Horse is, in fact, a whiskey!
Love those spoonerisms! One of the most famous newsreader’s slips in Australia is “a woman was bitten on the funnel by a finger-web spider”.
Clarification: the funnel-web (atrax robusta) is one of our venomous spiders, but AFAIK, nobody has died from a funnel-web bite in years. There is an effective anti-venom.
Jimi Hendrix, whose every note and word I have listened to many times, was prone to a slip of the tongue now and then (although somehow his guitar never hit a wrong note, as far as I can tell). Anyway, in one live blues number (“Once I Had a Woman”) he sings that a woman had him “wrapped around the left finger of her second hand.”
Ah! Good engrish makes me feel like I’m slipping into a bath of warm fog.
They are much like Zen koans, in that they present the mind a set of familiar words that have no apparent meaning, demonstrating the ultimate futility of all words and concepts. (And you thought you were just wasting time here!)
How are Zen koans different from church sermons, business meetings, or school lectures. I’m not sleeping, I’m expanding my consciousness.
Church sermons, business meetings, and school lectures can all be koans if you make them so. But with Zen koans, the master hopes you see through the meaninglessness of the koan. With the other things, seeing through the meaninglessness usually gets you in trouble.
*SPEECHLESS*
.
The disturbing thing about this mess- all this mess is starting to make perfect sense to me.
It’s like that when you learn any new language.
I’m very sorry, and I’ll try to make sure it never happens again.
So, I dip my pen in the think, then record my life feelings?
♪ Are you feeling in the years
Stowing away the time… ♪
Adopting the deluxe leather
Making thin novel works thine…
“Adopt the deluxe leather material….record life the feeling years with think”
it must be Cher’s ‘if i could turn back time …..’
If she could turn back time, she wouldn’t be made primarily of deluxe leather material. (I know, I sound like Kat Giantis!)
Acid-free paper and genuine fake leather on a dollar-store notebook? Pretty good deal, but not as good as the description.