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Look, I came here for a relaxing vacation, not to work in a meat canning factory!
You’re right, but Poland is a poor country. You can’t expect them to host tourists just for free! So think of Poland as being a big theme park, with the theme being (kind of like California is doing with their cute tourism ads talking about “working” in California), Come here and work! In fact, I can see the slogan: Come to Poland. Where else can you get to can your own meat???
“but Poland is a poor country” well not rly. Look at Poland’s GDP. It’s somewhere between 18-21 biggest world’s economy.
They probably have nuclear too!
Yes, we have! A lot of nuclear stuff
You made my point exactly. I don’t know what sports you follow, but finishing 18th-21st doesn’t win many medals in any sport I know of.
Last time I checked you dont win a medal for having the highest GDP either … just an oppressive government and a deluded populus.
Taking into consideration that the list is about 190 countries long (2008 List by the CIA World Factbook), that is a good score.
So G7 or G20 meetings are a waste of time, they should just cut it to G3?
OK, I give. How about “Poland is not the world’s wealthiest country”? BTW, I have nothing against Poland, and am partly of Polish extraction myself.
What is it going to take to extract the rest of you? A can opener?
You would have to use the Polish extraction process! (Boy, I can hear the jokes coming now!)
Impossible, as they say, you can that the guy out of Poland, but you can;t take the Poland out of the guy!
If the guy’s never been in Poland, as I haven’t, then by definition you can’t take him out of Poland!
If you do go to Poland, go in the summer, because the Poland Springs are very wet.
And if you drive there, be sure to watch out for all the Poles.
Poland as a whole is not a poor country, but there are certainly quite a few poor people there. That or people think tourists in Warsaw are suckers.
ha ha, the English version was created for Americans ha ha ha!
Since when Poland is a poor country? Huh!? We were the only ones in Europe who actually survived this whole economy crisis you started! Have you ever heard about European Dream? Read a few books first and then make such comments. Polska biednym krajem, też mi cos!
Is this the same as canned tourist?
yea if u look at “tourist” it has a *tm* (trademark) on it
maybe it has a company just on canned tourist
no it doesnt. Thats the closing half of quotation marks.
yep, and that makes it not funny. as laciak wrote below, I don’t get the joke – there’s no bad grammar here
As many have explained, the humor here is not confined to poor grammar or mistranslation of words. We also enjoy the randomness of the whole, the ways of expressing things that sound peculiar to native speakers, the way idioms can sound preposterous when translated word-for-word, the unintended double or multiple meanings, and so on. Those who are strictly concrete, overly technical, and/or lacking a sense of humor need not stick around!
what do you call a pretty girl in Poland? a tourist!
Jesus man! Go there. (And when you’ve picked your jaw up off the floor, head over to Ukraine).
Judging by his handle, he’s already satisfied. Some people are easily satisfied.
I like the joke … but it doesnt work cause polish chicks are hot dude
i think tourist is thier brand name
i know and also it was more massively produced that way
Just ran turystyczna through Google translate, and got “services.” Konserw translated to “preserve” or “can”"…remain puzzled…
Not sure which language you used, but if you use Polish, “turystyczna” comes up “tourism.”
yep, it was Polish
Hmmm…honestly I think it’s weird too because then if you do “konserwa turystyczna” it says “spa maintenance”!
I think I see the problem. Tourists are an endangered species in Poland, so they have to be “preserved.” In cans, apparently.
Damned tourists, jamming up the factories.
So the put the jam in cans too. New product line, everybody wins!
I’d like a can of tourist jam, please! Or would that be a can of tourist and a can of factory jam? Hell, just put it all together. Tourist factory canned jam.
…we also have different varieties. would you be interested in this lame tourist jello?
I think the problem is actually internet based translation tools that are about as good at translating as my cat is at predicting the lottery numbers.
Yes, we know that very well here on Engrish Funny. It provides us with much LOLZ.
Your cat must SUCK then. I already hit the powerball AND megamillions with help from mine.
My cat is a very rare species, a Schrodinger cat. It doesn’t predict lottery numbers, but I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting whether it will be alive or dead when I get it out of the box.
my cat does the dishes, kid’s homework, washes my car, AND gives me tips for tomorrow’s meeting agenda. oh yes, it balances my chequebook also…on its nose.
Isn’t it more fun to leave it IN the box so it will be every possible state from dead to alive at the same time?
If you happen to think an indeterminate state is vicarious fun. I doubt that cats enjoy indeterminacy, myself.
Really? Ever let one out and have it stand for 10 minutes in between ‘indoors’ and ‘outdoors’ while you hold the door open like an idiot?
The only good thing I learned in gym was the ability to balance objects with my feet. I found I could put my foot between the cat’s rear legs lift, and establish determinacy. I could then set the moving rear legs down and the cat would head off in that direction. I lost more shoes doing that…
Yes, I have. But I don’t think it’s indeterminacy, because I KNOW the cat wants out, but somehow the cat doesn’t know it yet. Because if I don’t just push the cat out and close the door, the cat will be wanting out within five minutes, and this time will probably shoot out the door as if to say, what took you so long?
Bo głupi jesteś. Języków cywilizowanych się ucz, lachociągu bawoli, a nie pierdol głupoty, że kurwa “interneta używasz, to umiesz tłumaczenie zrobić”. Zrobić to możesz, laskę pod kościołem.
fyi: that’s SPAM-alike canned food. Something that might be convenient for a ‘tourist’ (more like ‘hiker’ but whatever) to eat.
As a former backpacker, I can testify that if you’re going to spend days on the trail, you’re not going to fill your pack with Spam, no matter how wonderful it is!
Wife: I don’t like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your spam. I love it. I’m having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
It sounded like it meant canned tourist meat to me … thats why I thought it was funny … It was in the European Foods section in Tesco
oh well, if it’s from Tesco then it probably is canned tourist. They have everything else why not Soylent Green.
i don’t see the problem – turystyczna means tourist as an adjective, not noun… and canned meat is meat preserved in a can, so everything is well translated. or am i missing something?
Sense of humor? Just guessing.
Sometimes speaking the language that accompanies Engrish can spoil the immediate fun, because you can read what it’s actually supposed to say. Or else yes, it could be a humourectomy.
We don’t approve of rectum humour. –Them
Well, then, on to the humourectomy! –Us
If that is the case then the meat is meant to travel to various destinations and sightsee? Or was that the life of the animals before they were murdered, ground up, stuffed with preservatives and carcinogens, reprocessed, stuffed with even more preservatives, put in a can, sealed up, shipped around the world and back, and put on shelves?
New thought! Maybe “tourist” means imported?
“Konserwa turystyczna” means “Tourist’s canned meat” (as in used by tourists, not made of tourists :p) I know it because I’m from Poland :p
See, now that just brings about a whole other problem… If I go to a country and the only thing I can read is “tourists eat this…” – how do I know there aren’t a bunch of locals watching me on a hidden camera going “Watch this! Another one fell for it!”
who said tourists must be foreigners?
Good point!
Poles are to poor to buy cameras, and too stupid to use them ;]
FAIL
please, look at Americans, they ARE stupid!
Now I know why my aunt and uncle never returned from Poland. They ended up in the factory or the can.
Americans taste really good.
It’s the high fat content. It really improves the flavor.
Plus they fry more readily. And taste like bacon.
Thin Merkins taste like Lexus.
Reminds me of Nethack, though I’ve never found a can of tourist meat before. I have eaten a hobbit.
You definitely shouldn’t make that a habit! Nothing worse than a hobbit habit.
Krakow is famous for this. Go to where the locals eat and ask for this with fava beans and a little Chianti.
Cool! I no longer have to wait for tourist season or have to resort to freezer-burned tourist from last season!
WIN!!!!!
I helped them make this!
I shot the tourists in tourist season!
Including the sheriff? But not the deputy?
Is this why one or two tourist agencies only supply one-way tickets to certain parts of Poland…
MMmmm *making yummy sounds* Polish spam meat with tasty and salty jelly.
The translation is bad, I give you that. Then again, the level of fluency in English is pretty low in Poland.
Bet it’s higher than the level of Polish fluency in the USA. (Not to leave out all you other English-speaking countries from my insult, but I’ve not been to any other English-speaking countries, yet anyway.)
Maybe this is where they buy the supplies for the restaurant that serves up vegetarians. Do the vegetarians have to be raised on special farms where they can have a supervised meat-free diet? I hope they’re not farming battery vegetarians, that’s just cruel. Free range vegetarians only for me.
Could you imagine factory-farm vegetarians? That close together, lights on 24-7 so they think it’s daylight all the time so they eat constantly, the horror, the horror!
That close proximity and sleep deprivation would mean they’d be twitchy and high strung and mean and they’d be peckin’ each others eyes out, tearing each other apart for soybeans, torn up Birkenstocks flying everywhere, steeped up to their rears in their own guano after eating all that roughage… it’d be horrible. Though I guess cannibalism won’t be a problem- I was going to add that if there’s no cannibalism there’d be no risk of mad cow, but I have known a few vegetarians and know that’s not quite true.
Yup, free range vegetarians, fed local veggietables from local farms, organic manure only, etc. and so on. Only way to go.
I do know a couple of vegetarians who are mad cows.
They neuter, inoculate, de-claw, pull the teeth and brand them in the spring after weaning.
I’ve got to deliver this order from Michael Python and/or Monty Cleese for 89 orders of BBC Symphony pulls a wind. It wasn’t easy. I egg washed and breaded them and told them we were remaking “The Magic Christian”. They needed to do their best dive into the fryer after the hundred Euro notes because we had only one take. It was hard, but they said they would hand shred my ass meat if I didn’t have it at Symphony hall by 6 tonight. Double check the order, my dyslexia’s acting up and that address doesn’t look right….
Stream of unconsciousness WIN!
“The translation is bad, I give you that. Then again, the level of fluency in English is pretty low in Poland.”
Actually it depends on the age group – 20-somethings and younger have a fairly good grasp of it, although most of the older generation will from the poorer country-side are just like Borat (1st hand experience).
Since “Konserwa” usually applies to preserves like jams and what not, I think this stuff will definitely look more like spreadable deviled ham or mushy & pasty headcheese instead of spam, which is strangely dense
Mushy and pasty headcheese? I say this as a former deli professional, headcheese that ISN’T mushy and pasty is gross! It makes the strangest sounds on the meat slicer. I will concede, though, that Spam is “strangely dense.” For that matter, the Net is also “strangely dense” with Spam!
I don’t know where y’all from, in my country we call this “pašteta” (sort of paté, spreadable minced meat paste; the fancy French call it “foie gras”) and “turistična” (tourist, adj.) is like a brand, it’s mixed, meat & veggies.
Haven’t there been horror movies about this???
Or, for that matter, chick flicks (“It’s in the sauce”)
I do not like Tourist Canned Spam.
I do not like it, Sam I Am.
I do not like it on a boat,
I do not like it with a goat.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere!
I do not like Tourist Canned Spam.
I do not like it, Sam I Am!
Try the Symphony pulls a wind. It’s fresh, not canned.
I tried the woodwinds once, but they got fresh with me, and I’m just not into group sax.
They’re smoking mellow cellos. (I’m just mad about saffron…)
So cello pulls a wind, now?
And they told me it couldn’t be done.
Can’t believe everything you reed.
What do you mean by fresh? Did they try to play with your brass? Got too horny? Try to blow your mouthpiece? Or lick your reed? Pucker on your piccolo?
Oboes! That would be too much too bassoon!
They tried a little pizzicotto pecker, but it failed to produce any condolezza.
What’s so bad about this? Canned tourist tastes really good.
this is a proper translation, as “turystyczna” in polish means tourist style… lol
nice try though
The “100g” near the top of the can: contains 25 or 30% more tourist? Must have been a really good season!
In Hungary we also have “turista szalámi,” it’s a type of salami made from tourists.
We also have “téli szalámi,” winter salami, which is made from off-season tourists.
Then there’s the Edgar Winter salami, which is made from all white meat.
Kurwa, a mu znowu wymiatamy! A wy pocieszne zagraniczne pojebki łamcie te swoje kwadratowe pały, co to znaczy! Polską pytą siekam Was serdecznie po durnych baranich ryjach!
@PANCIO
ale się uśmiałam po Twoim poście xD
_____________________
….no nieźle ;D
nie ma to jak tępe hamerykańskie myślenie ;p
Tu ‘tourist’ jest przymiotnikiem a nie rzeczownikiem :]
(it’s adjective , not a noun)
My cousin went to a foreign country last month, he still hasn’t come back. what was his name??? oh yeah it was konserwa!
…oh dear.
O ja pierdolę, żartowniś się kolejny znalazł… Ziomek, ty to kurwa bystry dopiero jesteś, prawie jak woda w klopie…. Wetkałeś se palucha do odsłonietego kontaktu, że tak dowcipem błyskasz czy kurwa co?
That’s what I always say.
Nice one!
Don’t know if anyone mentioned already, but a Pole told me that the problem with this translation is that ‘turystyczny’ actually means not only tourist, but also people going camping, hiking, etc. So it’s ‘canned meat’ to travel.
So, that’s what happens to all the tourists who go missing. It’s made from people!!!!!
1. Poland is not a poor country. Not any more. We had the “luck” to be on the wrong side of the Iron Curtain, but couple days ago we celebrated 20th anniversary of our victory over the Communism. During these 20 years our country became much wealthier. We do have toilet paper, food in stores, HD TV sets, cars, planes etc.
We are also quite big country – 38 mln. people, 322 000 km2.
2. “konserwa turystyczna” is one of polish names for SPAM. It means ~”can for tourists”.
3. The translation on the can would be funny if there were no speech marks. But they are. For those, who don’t know what they are for – among others they are used to mark the name (or irony like in 1.).
I have been to Hungary last month and I didn’t expect to see blood in the glass of “Bull’s Blood of Eger” (“Egri Bikavér”)…
3. I would like to apologise for PANCIO’s comments in polish. They are below any acceptable level of discussion. Unfortunately Internet is for everybody. No matter what what gutter they crawled from…
And sorry for language mistakes in my comment
God,PANCIO is shame on our country >_>
Post FAIL.
It says “Tourist” canned meat. As in, that’s the name of the product.
Yeah, it for tourists to go camping or etc. (it’s still called tourism).
JUST LOOK AT THE FREAKING QUOTES!
it means “corned Tourist” in polish… WTF
So……. is that what’s the “Tourist Traps” for?