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Phurst!
Boring phurst-troll
Boring phurst-troll police
Don’t pheed the troll.
But pheeding the phucking troll is fun. D=
Second Winter Burning, hurts even more than the First winter burning =(
But does it hurt as much as the garlic??
That may be the single most honest food name you’ll see.
And “Eat th dish” might just be the best advice at this establishment.
maybe they blocked it out because it was inappropriate.
Maybe you should see a doctor about that.
It’s nice that the dish is raped finely and softly. You gotta love those considerate rapists!
*sings: dicing me softly…with his choice*
Boy, this could keep us going for weeks! I thought that speculation about the eggs was leeking out to the media…
Looks like a menu from Alice in Wonderland .
Curiouser and curiouser indeed!
Apparently, the penalty for raping the mushroom is that you have to eat the dish.
The mushroom wanted it as much as I did, your honour!
Ah, but how old is this dish?
I meant, of course, how old is this mushroom? Cross examinations can get kind of dicey.
Everyone knows that when mushrooms say “No”, they really mean “Yes”…
…especially when they’re fried to the gills.
I suddenly feel like raping some mushrooms on a cheese burger
I didn’t know you were into burgery!
Sounds more to me like he’s into shrooms!
Or at least part of him is.
Groannnnn
Don’t mince words.
Yes, mincing words is always dicey.
Cut it you, you two.
You, you too?!
*Out*, cut it *out* you two. Fairy typing FAIL.
Out, damn’d you! Out, I say.
Methinks fairy has a PMS!
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What? You’re kidding? Really? All right, I’ll tell them… my husband would like to announce that in fact, yes, apparently I do has a PMS. I can’t think where he’s getting his information from.
Husbands are usually the first to know.
Nah, you get your belly burnt by the garlic. That’s twice this winter!
Looks like they’ve caught on… used to be you had to eat the f*cking dish. Now that it isn’t so dry anymore, they found the need to cover it up.
Oi, lawdy… HOW DOES THAT GET TO HAPPEN? ARE THERE NO BOUNDARIES TO ENGRISH? Cruise control off.
It’s The Holy Grail of Engrish!
I’d love to know what got covered over in “Eat th________ dish”.
Just eat the dish and stop asking questions!
You can’t eat your dish and ray pit, too!
Funny, my more plainly stated (but otherwise identical) post was the first one the moderator refused entry to.
Weird things are happening again! I had a post disappear, and I think Jennifer may have, too. One of my milder comments has the “being moderated” annotation. Anybody know what’s going on?
I don’t know, but several of my posts for this one got that message, although all but one showed up. I presume the word “r@pe” was setting off some bot that called for moderation, but there seems to be plenty of the use of that word I am now avoiding.
NFI – but I had posts disappear in this thread and another. I think my use of S.O.B. written out may have done it. The essence of Jeremy Bowdler must be laughing itself sick.
I’m sure the font size is smaller than it was yesterday. Someone’s messing with the site again.
that’s a relif! I thought my shades were going crazy!
relief
Maybe it is a relife?
There are things Man was not meant to know.
But there is always Woman to tell us what it is, even when we don’t want to know!
In the biblical sense, certainly. For example, wasps’ nests.
Wild Thing, you make my thing sting!
You make all my thing swollen, Wild Thing!
Wild Thing, I think I love you
But how can I stand the pain?
The tomato is fried
The egg passed out in mid description
I bet the tomato was born fried.
the tomato is illegitimate
everybody knows that the naked oat was flirting everywhere
Sowing its wild oats, as usual.
Its father must have been a Roma.
I sense the pun fairy quite near… the puns… it’s Spainful to hold back!!
…”a Roma”? Oh, that stinks…
I always plant “Early Girls,” but they catch the worms.
Bastard tomato
Cannot help having been born
Wrong side of blanket
yes, it even started dressing the salad
With this menu, I’d be more worried if it started undressing the salad…
You just can’t get anything out of the egg. It’s very hard boiled.
shell we get something else, then?
We could try the egg beater…
Are you prepared to take that whisk?
Groannnnn!!!!
Is this a menu, or weird poetry from the seventies?
LOL!
Yes.
I’m thinking maybe a haiku. I don’t understand those either….
What to say, Haiku?
Many thoughts compiled as one
Started, now it’s done
Very nice! A haiku with a Shakespearean tone!
I’m sure the oats aren’t Quaker Oats, or they wouldn’t be naked! Quakers are very modest.
Oh, reading the word “smargosbord” always crack me up, since it’s obviously a direct translation of the swedish word “smörgåsbord”.
The same thing with maelstroem, which is malström in swedish.
Oh my.
what?
Only fair that the Swedes get to laugh at the stupid English speakers. In fact, for karmic balance, we might need to encourage more of this!
that is so funny I can’t even laugh. hahaha XD
They’re probably confusing their French with their English. In French, “rapé” means grated.
TGhanks, Smuffle, I was just going to ask what they were going for with that.
That makes sense, I was at a fancy restaurant on Awajishima in Japan and came across “Cuttlefish Rape”. Delicious yet mysterious, and rape-tastic.
Good thing it wasn’t “Octopus Rape”…
It’s a green, too, like spinach.
Could be Brassica rapa.
Yep. You can buy packets of “edible rape” from e.g. Evergreen Seeds (and other purveyors of seeds for Asian veggies). Some sort of brassica, leafy thing.
you probably know it as canola.
rape seed = canola seed.
mustard type plant.
You sound kind of like Mr. J! R@pe seed = canola seed; more romantic = ladyboy.
Sorry, I apparently forgot the magic formula. More romantic = daughter.
That does not exactly explain the “fine and soft rape” dish..hahaha…
…If your raping leaves the victims in grated shreds, you’re doing it wrong. Just sayin’.
That’s how we do it in Indiana!
I hardly know where start. Bring everything!
It fries the naked oats dish clearly – or it gets a second winter burning.
You can even eat the dish for 6 yuan.
is that what it says? I thought it was 6 pi
Not 6 pi, pee pi!
Quit leeking speculation eggs and eat the #@&% dish.
Doctor, doctor! My speculation eggs are leeking…
Ew
It’s a treasure trove!
May be I’ll go for ’2nd Winter Burning’ , missed the 1st one
Is there anyone who can read Chinese well enough to tell us what they are trying to say?
They’re just regular dishes’ names (blanch mushroom, tomato with eggs, … etc.) , just don’t know where they get their engrish from
am I relieved! but still not going to eat this. thank you.
I’m sticking with the second item “Eat the Dish” … Seems reasonable to me. Don’t confuse me with the details of what the dish is made of, or how it is prepared, pray tell.
Cmon, baby, eat the dish,
Bite down on the sonofabitch…
Burn it, fry it, mushroom r@pe is fun!
Then smile as the garlic burns the belly one!
“…you can even eat the dishes!” Oh, heck, now I have Candy Man going through my head…
Not that Christina Wiggliera travesty, I hope – how the hell did she release that song without being dragged off to court by whoever owns the rights to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy?
After 25 years, the mushrooms finally got revenge on Mario.
That’s true; nowhere is it specified whether this is referring to rape OF mushrooms, or rape BY mushrooms.
Or perhaps r@pe WITH mushrooms. You’d need some sturdy stems for that!
Hmmmmm, that little button champignon isn’t going to be of much use…
that means it’s out of the championship
As they say, “Wheaties, breakfast of champions! Composted manure, breakfast of champignons!” Or maybe they grow on something else?
The mushroom was probably raped by a toad’s tool.
Win
This has my nomination for pun of the year! Hard to see how anyone could consider this one dreadful!
Like this: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *clonk*
Ah! S’cream of mushroom.
Mushroom ice cream? No thanks!!!
now that’s an idea! wait some time and you’ll see!
How about some garlic and tomato ripple ice cream?
Anybody who hasn’t seen The Two Ronnies Ice Cream Parlor Sketch should check it out on You tube. I first saw it decades ago. It’s still hilarious!
with mashed potatoe slush?yummmmm
pedo-shroom?
Haven’t heard of any decent, laughable Enrish for a while. This is a REALLY good one.
now there’s something different: porn dish!!
what’s the censored word? “eat the f*cking dish”?
just realized so many people asked the same thing up there – those shades again!
see, that’s what my brain automatically read it as…
It puts the garlic on its belly, and it puts the mushrooms in the basket
I think they mean shrooms cooked in Rapeseed oil. It is also called canola oil. Rapeseed is of the mustard family. Blah blah blah blah.
Your explanations are more fun though…
“Leek speculation” sounds like a dish served at the congressional cafeteria….
Assuming the speculation refers to the leek, but it may actually refer to the eggs. Perhaps those are eggs that are speculated to have a leak – no-one knows for sure, however, it’s only speculation… you have to order them to see for yourself.
It’s been my assumption that leeks do not lay eggs, but I will admit the sex life of leaks is not a subject I’m well versed on.
Of course, a certain amount of leaking during sex is quite normal.
$6 for a dish of rape!!! IM SO DOWN!
and ooo fry the naked oats dish clearly sounds so damn fresh!!! only $8
goodness these bargains are unbeatable!!!
I would like to know what some of the odder things are supposed to mean. What sense of the word “speculation,” for instance?
Like someone else said, it’s spelled smörgåsbord.
Oh, and stop pronouncing IKEA like ayke-a, OK?
Ah yes, I remember when Joni Mitchell sang Fry the Naked Oats Dish Clearly…we all swayed and felt the love.
It was at the Second Winter Burning Man, wasn’t it?
I’ll make sure that the Naked Oats Dish is very clearly fried.
Naked Oats Dish is quite capable of getting fried on its own, thank you.
Mushroom rape? Sounds painful… and a bit like a bad death metal band!
And Leek Speculation Eggs would definitely be alternative.
It would be fun to order that…
“Yeah, I’ll have the Mushroom Rape, please?”
Is there really anything better than fine, soft rape?
How bad is the one under the duct tape? It must have been really dirty.
Perhaps it was just broken.
Mushroom rape sounds pretty scrumptious. *Eyebrow raise at next commenter*
You were expecting a fungi reply?
Well, of course! After all, you are a fun guy!!
i thought he was just moulded..
I am- from silly putty!
now that’s silly!
No, when they made him, they broke the mold.
Or perhaps HE broke the mold…
When the weather turned damp, the mold grew back.
Now I get it: Eat the “covered” dish.
Naked Lunch! O Burroughs!
I didn’t see Edgar rice on the menu…
I find it strange that no one has mentioned the fact that the oats are streaking up and down the restaurant.
Errrrr…..Who’s been raping the mushrooms then?
The garlic burned its belly, raping the mushrooms. he tried to rape the oats too, but they ran away in time for the second Winter Burning.
…..nope, that doesn’t make any more sense than the menu.
but they’re so effing cheap, I’d be willing to try them all. God I miss china and its cheap street food.
That’s actually quite poetic there… well, it would be if it didn’t have the word “Rape” on it twice.
Rape is a real food. Sorry, this is not engrish, just a kind of food we don’t eat a lot of in the US. Look it up on Wikipedia.
This is my picture! It was taken from a Beijing restaurant which I believe no longer exists. Poor marketing in my opinion…
smorgasbord sounds so stupid in english XD “smörgåsbord” is swedish and it loosely translates to sandwich-table…
Let’s hope the don’t pickthat mushroom. The only vegetable i loved has turned against me.
Mushrooms aren’t vegetables
please give more doctor work