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Nature No Free
Mr. J GUARANTEE
… Polite get Son …
Romantic get Daughter
more Romantic get Lady Boy
Free Sex became Dog (on Ko Tao)
Dictator Execution Squad Massacre
Engrish photo by Carla
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Cheezburger Company Blog
I’m more curious about the Dictator->Execution squad->Massacre sign below.
Man…I was thinking the same thing.
But also…didn’t somebody post this same one before? I swear I’ve seen it.
Maybe not this particular sign, but it seems Mr J does a lot of these signs with similar messages.
In series of respondance, times the message about the blue sky.
I will get romantic more of daughter, believe so?
Do accredited wellness sign all about this?
Can I address this anywhere, world?
I love this beautiful English!
(I can more speak, accurately swearing! *lies*)
Yeah, that was a completely different sign with a similar message awhile ago.
Omg, but what does it mean?? I’m obviously an engrish noob
I’m guessing it means that polite men have sons, romantic men have daughters, and really romantic men have effeminate/gay sons. I think it also says that the gender of your children isn’t just a matter of fate/change, as well as people who have sex outside of marriage are lower forms of life.
Maybe the poster below can be the next Engrish posting.
The exception is for women who don’t charge their men for the sex: they get puppies.
Be a bit of a surprise during the delivery, but hey, once that’s over with you
have a nice puppy.
It doesn’t really look like a poster to me. It is a plate made in combination of transparent-covered, printed cardboard and a plastic plate.
I guess that’s why you see more ladies hoping for little lap dogs like Chihuahua’s. I’d hate to think how rough it would be to give birth to a Mastiff. LOL
Oh, even Great Danes and Irish Wolfhounds have relatively small newborn pups, no?
Relatively speaking, I’d rather have to give birth to a 1 ounce puppy than a 1.5 pound puppy…
granted i’ve given birth to two 7 pound babies… so i don’t think 1.5 pounds would be bad…. but 1 ounce would be nearly nothing.
That Lady Boy might be a Ma stiff.
no, they get crabs.
Oh, poo.
But why does Mr. J want to put up signs like this? Is it so if people want a boy, for example, would they just have polite sex, rather than romantic sex? Is this his form of a PSA?
I want to see the poster below too. It looks like a flow chart!
I want to know what happens if you have really norty adult fun sex, and don’t pay for it – do you get a litter of really effeminate puppies? For example, if man dresses up as french maid and woman chases him around wearing nothing but whipped cream AND he doesn’t pay, does this mean that they have ghastly little Pomeranians? Does the opposite work? If you have really uptight sex – lights off, flannel jimjams removed just far enough to do the deed, then retreat to single beds afterwards – do you get a litter of really butch German Shepherds or Rottweilers? Veterinary science has clearly not had nearly enough funding to address these crucial questions.
roflmao. Nicely posited.
“But why does Mr. J want to put up signs like this?”
I’m guessing it’s because he is insane.
As a professional in the field of mental health, I heartily concur with your diagnosis, although actually “insane” is not a diagnosis. (We really only use the word “insane” in forensic settings, since it’s usually part of laws related to criminal responsibility.) So let’s just say Mr. J’s got a psychotic disorder not otherwise specified.
There used to be (or maybe still is) a superstition that how a child was conceived would determine gender. I’m betting this sign is some derivation of that, although I’m not sure of the difference between “romantic” and “more romantic” or what the whole dog thing is about.
Funny regardless.
its a ad board for a brothel…the more romantic you are, the weirder the sex.
Lol, I read “police get son”. Not that it makes more sense with polite..?
Yeah, I think I have seen this one before, guess it is a reup.
Anyways, I believe that it is some kind of a dictature/religious nut group who put it up to try and get people to have “polite” sex instead of “romantic” or “more romantic” sex, because polite sex gives you a boy, and not the other options.
That is my guess anyway
The earlier posting said “sexy” get Lady Boy…
It’s his take on religion, I think. If you have nice polite sex, you have boys, which are good. If you have loving romantic sex, you get girls, which is also good. But if you have naughty sex or you’re a slut, you get ladyboys and puppies.
He’s wrong. I’ve had lots of slutty free naughty sex, and I haven’t had any at all. Maybe it’s that IUD I’ve got goin’ on….
IUDs rawk!
except for the excrutiating pain that no one warned you about when they put it in. it hurt so bad i started laughing hysterically, which caused the doctor and nurse to also start laughing…
Huh, mine didn’t hurt at all.
Pictures, or it never happened.
I can’t get the camera up there, sorry.
…and ofcourse, free sex became dog (on ko tao) ^_^
Free sex become dog on Ko Tao? No, it’s turtles all the way down!
Great Atuin reference FTW!
Yes, but what is the gender of Great A’Tuin?
You’d have thought SOMEBODY would have sent a rocket manned by willing and eager volunteers over the edge to check by now, wouldn’t you.
Isn’t A’Tuin female? Didn’t he do one about the approaching red star, at the end of which She collects her babies which were about to hatch and were the reason why she was traveling toward the star in the first place?
I can’t remember which one it was. Perhaps I imagined it.
That was at the end of The Light Fantastic. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that Great A’Tuin laid those eggs. In many species, the male participates 9sometimes exclusively) in incubating and raising the eggs. Who is to say what arrangement space turtles utilise to see their young safely hatched?
True. I remembered where I’d read it and found the relevant passage. Pratchett never mentions the gender… he just says the baby turtles “followed, orbiting their parent.” I came back to make a note of it in case anyone cared to know..
To me, that says, “mom”, but it’s just gender bias on my part. It can just as easily be “dad”. Perhaps A’tuin is genderless and just kind of knew when the little ones would hatch. It’s Discworld after all, where anything can happen.
Thanx for the update. Who can remember all the Discworld details?
BTW, another star turtle must have found the relevant passage, hence the baby turtles.
Ko Tao means “Turtle Island”…
The Turtle Moves
this isn’t the same as, but similar to http://engrishfunny.com/2009/01/15/engrish-nature-no-free/#comments
ah, there it is! Thx for finding it
Now my head explodes…
And once again…there’s nothing a woman likes more than polite sex.
May I do this? May I touch that?
If you continue to be so polite my dear sir……you may……………..
….. but mind what you do with that black feather!
Yeah, but after a while it’s like having sex with Vista.
Especially the random crashing and having to start all over, just as you were thinking it might work out…
…I love you just a little.
Have you heard Les Barker’s poem, ‘Reinstalling Windows”? It’s on iTunes, probably also You Tube. It’s a parody of an old song “When I’m Cleaning Windows”.
No free sex for me, thanks. I’ll keep to myself to avoid canine transfiguration.
As long as you are paid for sex you won’t have any puppies.
Well, the way to get a son is highlighted. Dunno about Mr. J’s country, but in some parts of the world, people will pay astounding amounts to ensure (or think they’ve ensured) having a boy. Who knows, Mr. J’s business may be extremely profitable…
IMPOSTOR!!!
um it was this faulty Duplicator setting, see. The technology isn’t really perfect yet
Oh, I’m on fire.
Please note also that’s “Daugther”
I lol’d
At first I thought it was a brothel ad.
Mr J.? Who put that sign there anyway? Harley Quinn?
Dictator + execution squad = Massacre
Did Mr. J. figure that out all by himself?
Sign of much good, but liking most when readings instruction to left comment and Hilarity!
Is a ladyboy older or younger than a girly man?
I was trying to figure out how to get a raging bull-dyke lesbian kid.
Mr. J does not cover lesbians. Wtf. I call discrimination!!!
Are you guys sure the Son, Daughter, Ladyboy, listings aren’t the MENU?? I mean if you’re polite, you get the Son, the Daughter if you act romantic, etc.?
Oooooh, and the dictator sends firing squads and massacres people to feed you. I understand it all now. Soylent Green is people!
As I recall I once created a flowchart on this exact problem. If my memory serves the correct way to a raging bull-dyke lesbian involved half a pound of peanut butter and some ham. Not sure about the details from there.
See, you just don’t get these kind of deep philosophical questions over at Fail Blog.
On the other hand, the fail/win dichotomy is eternal. It’s like yin/yang, but older.
Wow. Just wow.
Basically speaking, those are extremism of sme sort of eastern religion. And they are damn sexists too.
That’s why I never join any religion. All religions discriminate people.
I think it was Lenny Bruce who once observed that people were leaving religions and turning back to god all over the place.
The world is full of vastly different religions. It is just as closed-minded to say that “All religions discriminate [against] people” as it is to say, “All people discriminate against people.”
All people do. And I quote:
“Everyones a little bit racist, it’s true. But everyone is just about as racist as you”
Bonus points if you get the reference.
Not sure about the rest of the lower poster, but the dictator is also labeled George Bush. LOL! After that there are some ssquares labeled ‘reincarnation’, but I can’t make out much more than that
Also, the “Execution Squad” appears to be Ghostbusters.
If so, then that’s a scariness fail to anyone who is alive/corporeal.
PENIS!
Kristin Schaal- I love you!
Okay, so the moral is: in Nature, nothing is free. You must pay for sex, or you will have a litter of puppies. So men must pay, or the human race faces transmogrification into a canoid race. Therefore, ladeez, it is up to us to MAKE SURE that men PAY for it. For the good of the species, one way or another, they must PAY. We will dedicate our lives to making them pay… what? Oh, hang on, Mai Husband says I’ve been doing that for years already. Hey, I’m a role model!
I’ve been saying for many years that the man ALWAYS pays for it, one way or another, or perhaps both.
Ahh, Mr. J. He had to turn up on Engrish sooner or later. His signs and shop are a daily source of hilarity when walking from dive bases on Koh Tao to the wharf. I remember him fondly.
Uh…duh…..whut?
http://www.thaisouth.com/mrj/
hey hey spend money with mr.j…. *rofl*
Hero Mister J
Runs successful business
While being insane
Hola les dejo mi blog para que pasen y saquen todas las recetas que queiran, son faciles, rapidas y ricas,espero que les guste. Ale TURECETA.WORDPRESS.COM
Time to change my name? Nah.
Just gotta say, Dr. Handle, I am in love with your wit! Well done.
*blush* You so naise – I send you to Dreadful Pun Hell last. (Admittedly, you will probably be very lonely around here by then…)
This is a major WTF and at the same time, LOL factor.
Best ad for abstinence I’ve ever seen…
I just have to ask: is your ID a proper noun, or an imperative?
How do you say “No Homo” in Thai?
You get what you pay for…
Who the hell wants to get romantic with “lady Boy”??? & Who the hell wants it’s sex to become dog????
I like ladyboys. I’m just saying, so really that’s more like a reward for me, not a deterrent.
is this a place that sells condoms?