Comments on: When Jesus Says Yes…

By: fjcvitel

fjcvitel — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 04:25:54 +0000

Computer says yes!!! I have the last word!
No really in the very last show it was that…

By: -Sprinkles*

-Sprinkles* — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:47:28 +0000

You don’t think he has better things to do than to watch you drink milk?

By: -Sprinkles*

-Sprinkles* — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:45:46 +0000

You would.

By: -Sprinkles*

-Sprinkles* — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:44:16 +0000

The one where Jesus talks to cows frequently, apparently.

By: Jackie

Jackie — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 08:38:57 +0000

This is dirty, but I thought it was like the “milk” from when Jesus says “OMG yesssss!”

By: I_Am_Iron_Man

I_Am_Iron_Man — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 01:48:39 +0000

I liek mudipz

By: John

John — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 00:54:18 +0000

but… what happens when he says no? Cheese?

By: dr handle

dr handle — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:27:11 +0000

Well, you can get milk out of sheep, too. That analogy fits as well, I suppose. Or it could be some allusion to what churches do to their flocks.

By: The Exaggerator

The Exaggerator — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 20:28:33 +0000

May I recommend your reading “Holy Willie’s Prayer” by Robert Burns for once–along with the “Epitaph on Holy Willie” as traditionally follows.

By: giraffe giraffe

giraffe giraffe — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:41:48 +0000

yeah, his name translates to joshua or something.
so, when joshua says yes, then we may milk.

By: BAK

BAK — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 02:58:50 +0000

So many comments left already, and not ONE about the followers of Jesus being cattle? Oh, sarcastic online community, you disappoint me.

By: babymouse

babymouse — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:46:26 +0000

it’s a movie about how people treat animals in food and clothing industry. it takes a lot of courage to see it until the end, especially if you like animals, but it’s worth it. i didn’t stop eating meat after watching it but let’s just say i eat much, much less. i also switched to soy milk, which is the reason why i even commented on this joke. i never liked the “cow” taste anyway…

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 03:45:28 +0000

Spanish argot FTW!
How odd that there’s a phrase with that meaning in ANY language. IMHO, if you need to say it, then you’re REALLY not!

By: dr_handle

dr_handle — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 22:03:50 +0000

No, no, it’s two separate jokes: 1) the parrot and the rottweiler (the parrot was named Denis), and 2) the parrots who live with the vicar, then a foul-mouthed female parrot comes to visit them (the vicar’s two male parrots were Cecil and Denis). I still accept that Denis is a pretty silly name for a parrot, although I can see where Lucifer would be in keeping with the theme of joke #1.

By: Gino Vincenzini

Gino Vincenzini — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:30:00 +0000

“HOW DARE YOU TEST MY OPEN MINDEDNESS!!!” (j/k ) I actually have never seen that movie, but I’ll have to look in to it… what’s it about?

By: babymouse

babymouse — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:02:28 +0000

“it’s meaning to me as a christian… is that God created the world, and this is a story that adds some symbolism to that creation, it has themes and ideas that God wants us to apply in here”
i agree 100%. that’s how we should take it. i looked up a few videos from the movie you suggested, and the guy makes lots of sense too. i think there is much more out there than we are able to understand. lots of things in the bible are metaphors, and it takes a high level of spiritual achievement to begin to understand them.
now let’s see if you can also show some open-mindedness. did you ever see the movie Earthlings, narrated by Joachim Phoenix? its hard to see until the end, but it also offers a whole new perspective on our society.

By: Gino Vincenzini

Gino Vincenzini — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:16:11 +0000

Epic Win

By: Audball

Audball — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 17:51:53 +0000

WIN!

By: Gino Vincenzini

Gino Vincenzini — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 17:38:52 +0000

have you seen Rob Bell’s analysis of Genesis 1 in the video “Everything Is Spiritual”? I think you would find it intriguing. to give you a bit of an idea… he starts by interpreting the first three verses in light of the trinity (verse 1 God is a creator, in verse 2 God is some sort of spirit, and in verse three God is speaking some sort of “word”s, this God is one and yet this God is several this God is some multiple persons, a community of creativity). and then he continues on looking at the days of creation and observes that the first three days is God separating (God separates light from dark, then separates the waters above from the waters below, then God separates land from sea) and then in the next three days of creation he fills in what’s previously been separated (God creates the sun moon and stars which fills in the space from verse 1 and is the source of light for day 1, then God fills in the sky and sea with birds and fish, and then God fills the land with animals and God also creates humans…..) So the things in day 4 correspond to day 1, and the things in day 5 correspond to day 2, and the things in day 6 correspond to day 3… nevermind the fact that the way we measure a day is the movement of the sun the moon and the stars which weren’t created until day 4 which raises the question how do you know that the first three days in genesis are actually….. days… and also don’t forget that the hebrew in that passage uses a very weird word to describe a day, it really means “period of time typically a day”. (this isn’t a mistranslation, Day is usually the word meant here, but it’s most strict meaning is a period of time, the context of evening and morning let us know it means “day”), and then the seventh day is more interesting… It just says “and then God rested”. and then it never repeats the refrain “and it was evening and it was morning the Xth day” which is a whole other topic entirely of how it strangely says “and it was evening and it was morning” we would say “it was morning and then it was evening” but the refrain of the Genesis creation poem (which in hebrew is exactly what it is) is “and it was evening and it was morning”)…. I’d encourage you to look at the Genesis poem and try and find out what it really means…. because I’m convinced that it’s not “God Created the world in 6 literal days and then rested on the seventh day” (especially since the seventh day according to the poem hasn’t ended yet)… it’s meaning to me as a christian… is that God created the world, and this is a story that adds some symbolism to that creation, it has themes and ideas that God wants us to apply in here. What do you see?

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 11:48:48 +0000

I was right- it’s an ENTIRELY different joke.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 11:47:01 +0000

In which universe?

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 11:45:54 +0000

Little Britain FTW!

By: ObscureWittyReference

ObscureWittyReference — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 11:35:38 +0000

Computeh says moo

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 10:14:53 +0000

I dunno, I thought Denis was a pretty silly name for a parrot… It was Denis & Cecil the parrots who lived with the vicar in the joke about the parrot named Sally going to stay to learn better manners.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 10:13:23 +0000

Computer says no *cough*

By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 08:18:51 +0000

lol actually, strangely enough “soy la leche” is a phrase meaning “i am cool”

By: katirrac

katirrac — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 05:30:09 +0000

Because cheese goes so well with Wolf Nipple Chips!

By: Gino Vincenzini

Gino Vincenzini — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:48:50 +0000

I hate them sooo much.. They are fools, whitewashed graves, God hates them with the passion of a trillion suns and I preach that God decrees the end from the beginning and that God has decided in advance who he loves and who he doesn’t, and these people who are so full of hate are the antithesis of God’s elect. they are snakes, poisonous hypocrites.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:11:08 +0000

He wanted to nail them? Talk about Karma!!!!

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:09:15 +0000

Since we’re going Spanish, how about soy milk? Would HEY-SOOS say “Soy leche”?

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:03:31 +0000

I thought it was Lucifer. Had to be a stupid name for a parrot, or the next line didn’t work.

By: dr_handle

dr_handle — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 02:01:37 +0000

What was the name of the parrot in your version? I heard it as Denis the parrot.

By: DeeDee

DeeDee — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 23:24:42 +0000

heh Life of Brian FTW!

By: tardmuffin

tardmuffin — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 23:08:31 +0000

Besides, what if the name isn’t Jesus – the man who walked on water, the gent who turned water to wine, the dude who died and rose up from the grave, and oh yea — that same guy who died for our sins so that you could one day be born and not believe a damn thing he did or said…. maybe it’s not that same guy…

Maybe, it’s Jesus [pronounced: HEY-SOOS] the gardener who decided to became a milk farmer after he sold his daughter off for a cow. Maybe it’s that guy.

By: Gino Vincenzini

Gino Vincenzini — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:00:35 +0000

God gave us dominion over the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and every creeping thing that creeps along the ground…. I think that means that we have the authority to eat their dead carcassas and drink their milk… attempts to argue vegetarianism from scripture is futile, it’s simply not the attitude of the bible.

By: Troll0165

Troll0165 — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:55:29 +0000

I’m terribly sorry, i got lost on that one, but yet i got the heinlein references, go figure…

By: Sweet crunchy soul sauce

Sweet crunchy soul sauce — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:29:53 +0000

I thought Jesus didn’t want me to do that. D= I’m so confused.

By: Tianashen

Tianashen — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:58:35 +0000

I’m not sure we should trust Jesus about things that do a body good….

By: Capt Obvious

Capt Obvious — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:41:09 +0000

Haven’t you heard? According to a growing number of christians, god wants all the non-believers punished, preferably by death. When was the last time you saw a cow in the congregation?

By: babymouse

babymouse — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:01:01 +0000

why, actually, yes. why else would i be visiting this website? i just don’t approve of people saying “god” wants that we exploit other animals. can you honestly say you do?

By: Ummmm

Ummmm — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:31:46 +0000

Have you ever, in your life, even once, understood what “humor” was supposed to be? Just wondering…

By: Gone_With_The_Wendell

Gone_With_The_Wendell — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:23:47 +0000

Mothers I’d Like to Kiss?

By: babymouse

babymouse — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:15:04 +0000

um, i think “jesus” never said that we should be the only ones on this planet that drinks milk our whole life, and that we should take* that milk from another animal on top of it.
*by making cows suffer for 4 years, shooting them constantly with antibiotics, and when they die from stress, eating them in fast food restaurants…

By: Jake

Jake — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 14:56:27 +0000

So that’s why the cheesemakers were blessed!
Because Jesus says yes xD

The cheesemakers? What’s so special about the cheesemakers?
Well obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally but for various manufacturers of dairy products….

By: Much Glory Hopeful

Much Glory Hopeful — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 14:32:01 +0000

“C’mon, Jesus, give me the signal already! I’ve got 40 bloated cows, it’s getting late, and I have other chores to do!”

By: Setagana

Setagana — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 14:09:52 +0000

Classic joke reference FTW

By: A Noun

A Noun — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 13:47:26 +0000

Sean Penn struck the greatest marketing deal EVAR?

By: Puppatoons

Puppatoons — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 13:18:59 +0000

Jesus wants to dunk some Oreos, dammit!

By: Harvey Milk

Harvey Milk — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 12:50:57 +0000

YES!

By: Obligated

Obligated — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 12:50:28 +0000

God milk?

Harvey says – YES!